The Psuedo-LOVE epidemic

"Oh the comfort - the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person - having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away." ~ Dinah Craik

What has happened to just being in love with someone? In today's world, it seems like no one really honestly knows how to LOVE. 50 years ago, it just happened. People met, they liked each other so they went on a date and then it became something regular, until the boy just had to make the girl his wife. So they got married, because they LOVED each other. If they had a fight or arguement, they worked it out. No running off and getting divorced over something stupid, and there was definitely less infidelity. What is with people these days? Cheating is the stupidest, most hateful thing you could possibly do to someone that you supposedly love or care about...so why why why does it happen all the damn time?!

I'm so tired of seeing relationships go wrong and people getting hurt because someone was unfaithful. I have been down that road too many times, and I will never understand how a person can say they love you, but then turn around and cheat on you 5 times without remorse. We use the word "Love" too freely now. It doesn't mean the same thing that it used to.

To truly LOVE someone (in a dating or marriage setting), you would do anything for that person. Even if it is the stuff you really hate, like laundry or dishes, in my case. When I was in love, playing little miss housewife was what made me smile the most. I was happy doing all the housework stuff that I hated because it was for the person I loved and it made me feel like I was finally living my dream--being a wife to a man who would love me more than anything, forever. You get this warm, tingly feeling all over when you kiss and being held by that other person is like magic; you never want them to let go. Everything just seems so surreal; even when you argue or fight, you find yourself thinking about everything you love about the other person and end up willing to work out the problems, no matter how stubborn you might be.
Loving someone means taking the good with the bad, whether it be character flaws (which we all have) or maybe family or health problems. You work through the problems each other face, together. For goodness sakes, that's what you're there for in the first place! You are who he/she leans on and looks to whenever things go badly...they know that no matter how horrible everything seems to be going, one thing is still absolutely right and wonderful; and it's you.

How someone could give up a relationship like this is a mystery to me. When you know for sure you have someone who loves you more than anything on earth, yet you still go out and cheat....I just don't understand how that could even cross anyone's mind!
Cheating aside, what about the little petty fights that couples have? If two people really love each other, I strongly believe they can find a perfectly suitable compromise for any disagreements they may have.

Here are my thoughts on how to prevent this "psuedo-love" epidemic that we continuously see today:
1. Although I was raised to believe that two people should be married before living together, I think a couple needs to know what it will be like before just jumping in to a marriage. Therefore, if they don't live together, then they at least need to spend alot of time staying with one another "playing house". You have to know how to live with one another, plain and simple.

2. You know how when you buy a new car and it has that terrific new car smell? It always disappears after about a month, and try as you might to find an air freshener with the same exact "new car scent", you can't ever get it right again....well, this may be a far stretch but, our relationships are kind of the same way. What we need is to make sure we don't ever lose that "new car scent" in our relationships lol. This being the amazing chemistry and all the nervousness and butterflies we feel in the very beginning. We need to continue to be in awe of one another and still be anxious, ecstatic and enthusiastic. Dates are necessary, no matter how long you have been together...you still need to go out, just the two of you and enjoy the company and romance of one another.

3. Include each other in everything. Work together, cook together, clean together. Not everyday, but make sure it is at least a common occurance. Be friends, not only with each other, but with your significant others friends. It's important to have a support system for the both of you, and friends are the best for that.

4. Talk about both your views on raising a family BEFORE you ever get married. Not everyone sees child rearing the same way, and it is very important that parents see eye to eye on this matter. Serious problems arise when two people cannot agree on how to raise their child.

5. Make sure you are financially stable BEFORE marriage. I'm not saying you both have to be well off or anything, but at least have a plan for any bills or loans that need to be paid off. You can't just jump into a marriage with someone and expect the financial stuff to work out on it's own if you are both in debt. You have to find a way to fix that problem first. Financial problems are the number one cause of divorce in America.

So far, that is all I have on this little rant :)
Just some thoughts lingering in my mind today...